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How To Win the Battle Over Personal Insecurity

Insecurity is a silent enemy.

It ruins your relationships.  It limits your leadership.  It shows up in every decision.  In essence, it is coloring your entire world.

How do you recognize it and conquer it?

Saul was insecure.  It infuriated him that the women praised David more than him after David killed Goliath.

He spent the rest of his years tracking down (in David’s words) “a flea.”   His judgment was clouded and all his relationships dissolved.

If you are insecure as a person, you have to beat it.


1.   Find A Father.

  • Saul had no spiritual “father.”  Samuel filled that role for a while, but Saul’s actions destroyed that relationship.
  • Everyone needs a person who affirms them.  Without fathering, you look to yourself for self-affirmation.
  • Who do you want to call when you have achieved something great?  They are a spiritual father to you. Without a father, you will endlessly seek to prove yourself to yourself.  That is the root of insecurity.

2.  Promote And Empower Others.

  • A jealous, insecure person keeps track of everyone else’s accomplishments like the control tower at an airport.
  • They never let anyone else “land” a success.  They poison every conversation where that competitor is mentioned.
  • On the other hand, secure leaders go out of their way to bring up the successes of others.  They honor others.  They give them awards.  They publicize their efforts.
  • Think today of who you can empower with your skills so that they might actually accomplish more than you have.  You have to be “secure” to think that way.

Without a father, you will endlessly seek to prove yourself to yourself.

— Larry Stockstill

3.  Focus On Eternal Rewards

  • Insecurity comes from valuing the opinions of man more than the rewards of God.
  • Everything in this life is only a stepping stone to eternity.  This is not the “Finals,” the “Super Bowl” or the Olympics.  This earth is the practice for eternity.
  • In eternity, God will give out the rewards.  Some who have been buried by obscurity will be publicly recognized and praised.  Some who have “elbowed their way” to the top will be barely noticed.
  • Life is short.  Be faithful.  Every small gift (even a cup of cold water) will be rewarded eternally.  Live for God’s approval, not man’s.  Barely notice man’s approval because it can change in 24 hours.

4.  Don’t Fear Losing Your Place. 

  • Your husband or wife loves you.  They married you because they were attracted to you and fascinated by you.
  • Don’t listen to thoughts that they have lost all interest in you.  BE the person you were when they married you.  Focus on 60-70 years together, growing old together deeply in love.
  • Enjoy all your relationships, thinking about how much they love and need you in their lives.

Insecurity comes from valuing the opinions of man more than the rewards of God.

— Larry Stockstill
You CAN conquer insecurity.  You MUST conquer it.  As a leader, believe in God’s power within you.  Strive to please only Him.  Relax in your relationships.

In essence, be “David” instead of Saul.

Written by Pastor Larry Stockstill. Visit Pastor Larry’s blog at Follow Pastor Larry on Twitter @larrystockstill and Facebook /larrystockstill

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